THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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