I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
She announced her abortion via fbk
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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