you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
