When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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