RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I wish i was in the wii world.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
