btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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