Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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