We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
