She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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