I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
