I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
