I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize