yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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