True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
