McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
