He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
