My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
