The brown eye won't let me do that either.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I FOUND THE LEGS
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
