Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
