And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
