I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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