she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
