I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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