she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
