sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
