Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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