it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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