sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
