I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize