Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
