Plan B is the new Plan A
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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