Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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