Where is the hickey?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
