I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize