Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
