so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
