coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
