so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
