Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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