Just fell off a train. Bad.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
