we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
