Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
