who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So much rum. So many feels.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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