Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
