Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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