saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
they call him Oral-B. enough said
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize