I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
