I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
