haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
