i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
