Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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