we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
