Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
