Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
