They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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