i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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