Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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