I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
