I must be too annoying 4 u.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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