I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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