Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
