Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
