I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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