i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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