I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
