i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
