remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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