just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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