you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
